Is the war dark?

Yes, yes the war is very dark. It is dark as the smoke fills the blue sky covering the sun, hiding those who strive to kill. It is dark as the pain clouds your mind as your comrades fall around you. It is dark as your intentions morph into evil desires to destroy all those who wish to cause harm to you or your men. It is dark as the night hides the dangers, it is dark as explosions tear your mind from reality, it is dark as your blood soaks the earth. Yes, yes the war is dark. May we pray that you never find yourself in this war my little friend. And if you do, may you find yourself under my command, where you can be safe in the light.

The sun is warm and comforting as the birds chirp away and we hear the radio squawking for my team; Bravo, 3^rd squad to move ahead of the formation and secure the road for the safe passage of the platoon. I am in command and quickly we take off running past our comrades to give them safe passage. As I reach the road, all is well. I set two of my boys on the near side to watch the road before myself and another run across to secure the opposite side. As I set in place and the beginning of the formation moves across the road it starts. First a pop, then a jarring sound that rattles your core. Before I know it I’m face down in the dirt, God himself has spun my world upside down. Yelling for my boys to return fire I pear through the confusion, and then it hits me, and I am down.

It is dark, but I can still hear them. I can still hear the tear of a machine gun; hidden somewhere in the depths of my mind. The stench of burnt earth assaults my nostrils, and as I turn I can still see him, lying in the grass seemingly taking a nap, with no fear or regret or mercy. I see them running, charging through the fire only to be torn away from me by a distant explosion. The sounds, sounds I cannot explain, sounds no words can summarize in full detail chip  sanity from one’s mind. And as my mind fills with thunder and clouds and my sanity flakes away I can just barely make out my team. In the ruins of my mind they fight, one hides as bullets chip away at his sanity. They swirl around him, tearing at his soul, his eyes describe the horror that lays around him. And as the noise drowns out my command to return fire, he’s gone. And there I am running through the dust to reach him, trying to sweep the darkness from my vision, trying to pull him back, trying to desperately tear reality from my mind. But I am beside him stuffing the life back inside of him, desperately struggling to save my world. And then I look up, and he never responds. His eyes once describing his agony; now cloud with the past memories of a happier time in our lives. I gather him in my arms, and across the dusty road I stumble pushing my legs to move quickly. And then we’re back, I realize the gun fire has longed stop. The sun has begun to shine, and the birds have resumed their peaceful chirping.

My ears are still full of an endless ringing, a constant reminder of my friend I could not help. As I lay him to rest in the long lush grasses beneath the old trees he looks just so comfortable. The world is at peace once more, a smoldering crater here, a few spent cartridges telling a story of a desperate struggle. I wish we could be home, I wish I had seen the fire before I walked into it. I wish my mind wasn’t as rigid as it is now. Someday I will be permitted to rest. Someday I will be able to leave, and with a smile on my face know that I chose the right thing to do. But for now I will live, I will forever live on that dusty road, wishing that I had chosen to place myself in harm’s way. But with these thoughts I will remember a time that once was. Even if that time never even truly existed.

The screams from within,

So strong like crackling tin,

Hands begin to shake,

Just as my mind turns to a lake,

The Fall,

So fast just like a small ball,

The ground so eager to meet me.

I wish it would let me be,

Just let me melt,

And like old cards dealt,

I shall be no more,

Just as I pass through that door,

Into the core,

Of The End.

There in the dusty streets the thunder thickens,

When our lead Humvee is stricken,

The light and debris,

Sets our Comrades free,

We pour into the streets,

I only step a few feet,

Until the light tears into my chest,

Collapsing I try my best,

To call out,

But indeed I doubt,

Here I have become forgotten.

Tonight I will let you burn,

Just like an old dried out fern,

And as the wind blows by,

I will not shy,

To say ,

Good day,

And good night,

Good sir.

I sit upon my bus,

Time withering away in such a fuss,

Everyone in a hurry,

Taking their fears they bury,

Their true emotions to this place,

Am I a basket case?

These red seats old and weathered,

Their futures tethered,

To the destination of said bus,

But here in this field is just us,

My friend and I,

-Radiation

There’s a small piano,

The last performance in a never ending show,

Audience long gone,

Even with the impending dawn,

Our friend here plays a soft tune,

Just like air traveling over small sand dunes,

Our friend leaks through the walls,

And burns across our skin like a ball,

Without warning our small piano is done,

It crumbles to pieces exiting the stage just like an old son,

At last the show has come to an end,

And our old friend can lend,

A small applause for our number one performer,

Our friend now takes the stage,

He has been waiting for an age,

Our good old friend, still by our side,

-Radiation

The clouds blow by,

With a never ending sigh,

The sun dawns upon the once holy land,

And there blows by the sand,

Fires raged upon the field,

Now left to keep our eyes shield,

From the horrors of a never ending war,

Where man once let violence siege his core,

But here in the land,

We make a band,

To never again fight over these sands,

But what use is it,

When our leaders see it fit,

To force us into tanks,

Just to take control of banks,

Of oil fields,

So the folks back home can make another deal,

And live their lives on the blood of our Comrades,

Who are stuck in this never ending fad,

-American War

Here atop this hill lays my feelings,

Just tossed aside like a bunch of bad dealings,

It is forward I travel,

Just along this long quite road made of gravel,

Perhaps someday I will make it,

But until then I will make fit,

It seems I travel alone,

But I have shown that I have forgone,

It is I,

And my friend that walk by,

I am tall,

Soon he will be the cause of my fall,

It is then he will become my fiend,

Despite this I stay keen,

To stand by him,

My fiend,

-Radiation.

Losing a friend is never easy,

But then again I am just really sleazy,

No wonder no one wants to be with me,

I’ll just cost you an emotional fee,

So please just go and save yourself,

Place the good memories back on the shelf,

Let me bleed away into your past,

After all we would never last,

I am a demon of this place,

I have a forgetful face,

So walk your road,

Go ahead an leave your load,

My friend and I will carry it,

My faithful friend.

 -Radiation